The craziest story ever

For members of my famıly readıng thıs, I do NOT expect you to relate thıs story to ANY OTHER member of our famıly lıke your brothers or parents. Thıs story would gıve me Mom a heart attack. Okay?

Here we go.

Thıs ıs the story from two days ago: my fırst nıght ın Istanbul. I have posted thıs as a travel warnıng to other travellers.


Running through the Jungle (of Istanbul)

So, first night in Istanbul. I haven't met anyone at the hostel, so I'm just expecting a nice quiet stroll around Istiklal street just south of Taksim Square (the maın center of town). Now, I've read all about the scams so I thought I was well prepared.

I think because I am asian, I am an obvious target. Often, it is difficult to tell who is a local and who is not because anyone who ıs a shade of whıte can be a turk... except asians.

So as I'm walking up and down Istiklal, guys are coming up to me, asking me where I'm from, wantıng to be my friend... So I talk to them, but I know they are scamming me, so I polititely excuse myself every time.

So before I call it a night, I head to this bar called "Montreal" (of all places), the wall is decorated with all this Canadian crap. I even ask the owner about the scams and the people coming up to me... and he says "no, its just turkish hospitality!"

So these two guys come in the bar, order beers and sit down to the table next to mine. THey start talking to me, their english is good.... I think since they are just fellow people at the bar, they're possibly not scamming me. One of the guys looks like a crook, you can tell by the eyes, but the other one looks honest, so decide to give them the benefit of the doubt.

After a while of conversation and a few beers, we decide to hit up a "club". I make it very clear to them that I only have 20 LIRA on me, and that I only would go to expensive places... they were like "ok don't worry". I noticed it was odd that one of the guys kept going to the washroom (later I think it was to call people to coordinate the 'club' we were going to).

So we walk into this club, and the place is dead except for some young girls and old men. I should've left right away, but for some reason I didn't. I sit with these guys, me between the both of them in the corner table so I have no chance of getting out... I start to get suspicious and ask questions. They're like "no problem, we split everything 50/50".

Suddenly all the girls get on the dance floor and start dancing... its not real dancing its more like the dancing a girl does when someone orders her to dance. Three girls come over to our table and sit. The girl I am sitting from comes from Ukraine. Then I go to the washroom and one of the guys follows me to also head to the washroom. All these things add up to my conclusion that I am for sure getting scammed.

When I get back to the table, I tell them "its been a great night, but I have to go. Here's my 20 Lira, you guys stay". But they refuse and block my exit and are like... "we'll get the bill now, don't worry". The girls are still sitting next to us. The waiter brings the bill: 720 Lira! Thats about 600 CDN. "We split it 50/50", that's what one of the guy tells me. At this point the girls leave.

So I argue this bill, saying "you guys fucked me over, you knew I only had 20 Lira"... and them saying stupid bullshit. There's no way I could physically escape this club, there are too many obstacles. My best chance, I thought, was to be outside. So I say I'll pay one of the guys 200 Lira once we leave the bar and I go to the ATM. He "pays" the tab with his card, and we leave and bar.

We're walking up the sidestreet to get on to Istiklal street, and my mind is racing with possibilites to get out. Should I risk fighting these guys? I am pretty confident with my abilities, but two guys? In another country? Very risky...

We get to the main street, and right there is a police stand. (makeshift booth). I walk over to them to "ask for directions"... and I end up telling them about EVERYTHING, and how these guys try to extort me for nearly 400 Lira. The police don't understand a fuckın word I am saying. Talkıng to the cops is a guy wearing a bright orange shirt with a nice SLR camera arond this neck who 'translates' what I am saying to the police, although I am sure he is working with the guys who tried to scam me. The police seem unaffected by my story. Crap.

So I think: The police are not helping me, but aren't hurting me either. As long as I am there, the two guys won't try to jump me, but I won't get away scot free as well. I think the scammers realise its going to be difficult to get this money from me and want to cut a deal. One guy says "150 Lira and we will have no problems. Just 150 Lira." Since I don't want to go anywhere with the scammers, we compromise and I will go with the orange shirt guy to get the money then come back.

This is my chance.

I start walking up the street with the orange shirt guy, and I tell him "listen bud, how about I give you 60 Lira and you let me go". He says "no, I can't I konw these guys". I say "you work with these guys", but he says "no, but they are in my network".

So I only have on option - and the conditions are all in my favour. THe guy in the orange shirt looks a little out of shape, and is carrying a large expensive camera around his neck. We reach and ATM and I shake his hand saying "thanks for your help anyway". Then I point behind his back and say "are those guys over there". When he turns and looks behind him, I BOLT DOWN Istiklal street at FULL SPRINT! (with Turkish music playing the background, providing a soundtrack - i feel like I'm in a movie).

I look behind and no on followed me! I keep running, my lungs start to burn, and after about 60 seconds, and duck into a sidestreet into this empty bar and meet the surpised look of the owner. The first thing is do is LAUGH! I laugh for a long time, then order a cola. Then I threw up.

So for the rest of the right, I am very paranoid, ducking into little bars, looking left and right at everyone. I end up at 3 little bars, having cola and tea at each... on the look out while they play lounge music... I seriously feel like I'm in a movie. I make it back to the hostel at about 3am... 4 hours after all this madness began.

So to conclude: the one time I let down my guard and gave the benefit of the doubt I was almost burned, so my trust factor for the locals in Istanbul is very low. But whatever, I scammed the scammers. Those bitches.